Safety for Stalking Victims: How to Save Your Privacy, Your Sanity, and Your Life

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOREWORD, by Linden Gross

PREFACE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

INTRODUCTION

1 STALKING, FEAR, AND DANGER

• What is stalking?
• Who are stalking victims?
• Necessary and unnecessary fear
• Who stalks?
• Types of stalkers
• "Why me?"
• "It's not fair!"
• "So, how much danger am I in?"
• Relaxed awareness

2 THE FIRST, MOST ESSENTIAL THINGS TO DO

• Take responsibility for your own safety
• "He's trying to drive me crazy, and I'm not going to give him the satisfaction!"
• "I'm not going to give in to my fear!"
• How to prevent stalking from starting
• As soon as you think you might have a problem
• As soon as you know you have a problem
• Take control

3 YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION - A STALKER'S TREASURE

• Who has personal information about you?
• A stalker's favorite toy - your phone number
• The key to your identity - your social security number
• Other personal information - safeguard it like gold

INTERLUDE 1: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

4 HOME - YOUR REFUGE OR YOUR STALKER'S PLAYGROUND?

• If you rent
• If you live in a house or condo
• Make your home "unfriendly" to intruders and watchers
• Coming and going from home

5 THE ONE PLACE YOU HAVE TO BE - AT WORK

• Change your work environment, not your job
• Things to do every day

INTERLUDE 2: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

6 GOING FOR A RIDEYOUR CAR

• In and around your vehicle
• Driving safely

7 PUBLIC PLACES - IS THERE SAFETY IN NUMBERS?

• Be prepared
• On foot
• Public transportation
• Bicycles

8 CYBER SAFETY - IS IT POSSIBLE?

• Your computer
• Using the Internet

INTERLUDE 3: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

9 USING THE TELEPHONE - YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW HOW

• Don't let him hear your voice
• Phones and phone companies
• Making and receiving calls

10 WHAT NOBODY ELSE WILL TELL YOU ABOUT SELF-DEFENSE

• "Empty-Handed" fighting
• Noisemakers
• Pepper spray and other chemicals
• Persuader / Kubotan
• Knives
• Stun guns
• Firearms
• Defensive driving
• Improvised weapons
• Diversify your safety portfolio

INTERLUDE 4: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

11 INTERACTING WITH "THE SYSTEM"

• Police
• Witnesses
• Lawyers
• Prosecutors
• Newspapers, TV, radio, politicians

12 QUESTIONS STALKING VICTIMS ASK

• "What else can I do?"
• "Should I hire a bodyguard?"
• "Should I get a restraining order?"
• "Should I move? Change jobs?"
• "How does the stalker find me?"
• "I have kids. Is there anything special I should do?"
• "I may be a target for a celebrity stalker. What can I do?"
• "What can the police and others do to help me?"
• "I'm on a tight budget. How can I afford safety?"

INTERLUDE 5: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

13 MISTAKES TO AVOID

• Mistakes stalking victims make
• Mistakes police and the legal system make
• Mistakes friends and family make

14 DEALING WITH THE STRESS

AFTERWORD

APPENDIX A: ORGANIZATIONS AND WEB SITES

APPENDIX B: SAMPLE STALKING LOG

BIBLIOGRAPHY